The Month that Was: April

April. It was a month of disasters, realizations, blunders, sadness, boredom and a helluva lot more feelings for me. 

I learned that you should never ever plan anything in your life. Dewaaro ke kaan hote hain. Someone somewhere gets to know you are trying to do something good and then they screw it up for you. I learned that you should always be on alert, on the lookout, for that screw-up time of your life, because it does come. who are we kidding? Human life is not meant for happiness. I learned that you should always have a back-up plan, because when plan A fails,there should be a plan-B. Otherwise, you cry like a two year old child, whose toy got broken and didn't have a spare one. I learned that no matter how hard you try, some people just choose to see you as a 'glass-half-empty' case. I learned that nothing ever happens the way you want it to. n whose 'want' it happens, i don't know, but certainly it does not happen on my 'want'. I learned that you should not hold on to people who do not want to hold onto you. I learned it, but I certainly cannot seem to follow it. I learned that when you fall from your high horse, your butt hurts like hell. I learned that life is not a camera or an ice-cream ( seriously?!) or a ride or a journey or all of that stupid stuff. Life is terrifying and unpredictable and funny and cruel and sometimes sweet. I learned who my true friend really is. I learned how much I love my Mom. I decided to quit studying for M.B.B.S after 3 years of preparations, which got me a railroading from my family. I learned that I have no frigging idea what I want to do in my life. I do not see myself as anything in the future. I learned that I have not learned anything yet, and I have so much more learning to do. I learned that it is possible to do nothing and yet get tired. I learned that planning and spontaneity are both stupid. Most people have no idea what they are doing too. I learned that I am no different and I have the same dreams, fears, insecurities, strengths, weaknesses as a thousand other humans have. But I also learned that I am unique in my own special way.

 I fell, I got up. I screwed up, I leaned a lot. I cried my heart out, I laughed. I fought, I made-up. I refused to accept, I learned again. I loved, I hated. I felt despair, I felt hope. My world got good, and everything shattered again. I slept like a dog, I ate like a pig. I fought everyone, I despised myself. I created a lot of shit, I hurt a lot of people. I lied, I sneaked, I rebelled, I yelled. I cried, I shouted, I laughed, I screamed. I loved, I got loved. I despaired, I hoped. I danced, and I fell flat on my face. I had fun, and the next moment I felt the world ending. I remained in denial, I learned the truths the hard way. I lived my life, I tried to survive.

Image Source: Google

P.S: Please ignore the typos.

P.P.S: Show me some lovvvvveeee people.